what is sex

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what actually is considered sex.  When somebody asks, “Did you have sex,”  what constitutes a yes or no response.  Intercourse or penetration, I think everyone would agree is a yes reply.  But what about the grey areas of foreplay both oral and hand exploration?  So I decided to look up the definition.  Try googling that one!  I came up with this recent survey:

The study, published in the February issue of the journal Sexual Health, randomly surveyed 486 adults, most of them heterosexual, between the ages of 18 and 96. They were asked the following question: “Would you say you ‘had sex’ with someone if the most intimate behavior you engaged in was [blank],” and then followed more than a dozen “behavior specific items.” A press release reports that “two out of ten people did not concur that penile-anal intercourse was sex, and three out of ten said ‘no’ to oral-genital activity, as did half of the respondents about manual-genital contact.” And, while 95 percent classified penile-vaginal penetration as sex (one has to wonder what does count for the remaining 5 percent), that number dropped to 89 percent in cases where the man doesn’t ejaculate.

Boy, they sure make that sound boring.  This is what WikiAnswers has to say:

the act of sexual procreation between a man and a woman; the man’s penis is inserted into the woman’s vagina and excited/stimulated with motion, until orgasm for one or both and ejaculation occurs.

So if sensual massage involves only hand manipulation and has nothing to do with insertion why is it illegal?  I think Bill Clinton would agree with the above definitions, along with most Americans.  So my dear readers, what is your definition of sex?


6 thoughts on “what is sex

  1. Hello there. Thank you for your comment on Loving (Mature Content). I’m having difficulty approving your comment. So here I am checking you out. Like to keep reading what you write it’s interesting. Thanks again, Brandy

  2. When asked what is sex, I immediatedly thought of my exploits as a young girl on the farm in South Dakota. I had many boyfriends – yes, some at the same time 😉 – and most our wild escapades I wouldn’t consider sex, but after reading your blog it seems that 95% of people do. I guess I’m just part of that 5% looking for something more. I have read all of the excerpts so far on your blog, and can’t wait to read the finished product, because it sounds like Cali is very similar to me in the 50’s. I was hot and wild back then, and I try to be now too. Sex to me I think should remain a secret – it might not be appropriate for this blog -, however I think it is safe to say everybody has their own experience with their loved one. I’m looking forward to the big release (I mean the book release ;), and hope all is well, Louise.

    • Thank you Louise for reading my blog excerpts. Well put, and yes I do think everyone shares an experience with a loved one, making sex more rewarding. My book is now available at: http://www.sierramichaels.com/Links___buy_the_book.html

      I do hope you read it!! I think it is different than any book out there, and I think the reader walks away with a bit of new knowledge about an industy few people know about. And it’s not all about sex, Cali goes through many experiences.


  3. Hi,
    An interesting question and brings to mind several points 1) in the 18th century lesbainism was dismissed as it was not recognised as sexual – as penetration had not occured then it couldn’t possibly be sex; 2) throughout the ages when one reads through sex manuals from harems and courts, the act of penetration is the very last chapter and the culmination of the ‘sexual journey’ but by no means rendering the events preceding it as non-sexual.
    I work in a school and the distinciton is amiguaous, and it’s very amiguity makes every encounter ‘sexual’ to the point where I am not allowed to give a child a hug unless they are extremely distressed. So, while at the moment any inappropriate non-relevant contact may be construed as sexual in a court of law, to me a sexual encounter involves anything above and beyond a quick cuddle and kiss.

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